From the get-go it's clear that Ice Spiders has the hallmarks of being an entertainingly bad movie. In this made-for-tv production, oversized, computer-generated, mutant spiders --freshly escaped from the secret government lab that created them-- begin attacking the folks enjoying the wintery wonderland that are the snow covered peaks of some mountains somewhere.
Par for the course, much suspension of disbelief is demanded. Even so, as the opening pair of hunters (who in turn become the hunted -a ha!) are chased down by one of the arachnids, it begs the question: How the hell is it scientifically possible for this freak spider to operate so well in those cold temperatures? Explanations for everything eventually arrive, not a surprise for a film that strikes every conceivable conventionalism, and concludes with a slam-bam, guy-gets-girl, happily-ever-after, all's-well-that-ends-well close.
Perhaps 80s tv screenwriter/ producer (most notably of The A-Team) Stephen J. Cannell lent psychic influence on the screenplay with his presence in his supporting cast role of resort director. Patrick Muldoon and (the other) Vanessa Williams are the principles. Muldoon as Dash --the resort's ski instructor-- is a former olympic qualifier whose career became sideswiped by injury. Williams, meanwhile, plays good scientist Dr. April Sommers, an employee at the secret mountaintop lab that the spiders escaped from. Joining them are the US olympic ski team, originally there for pre-games training. It's with all the charm of the Scooby-Doo gang that this unlikely ensemble endure calamity, while tossing around surfer-dude, snow-bunny slang.
Going out of the way to find this dud may be unwarranted, yet in the vast slew pool of irredeemably bad Sci Fi Channel original movies, Ice Spiders is pretty fun(ny).
dir. Tibor Takács
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment